Chinese phrases
How to say condolences in Chinese
My condolences in Chinese is 节哀顺变 (jié āi shùn biàn), the set phrase you say to the family of someone who died. In person, the shorter 请节哀 (qǐng jié āi) is just as common.
节哀顺变
my condolences (literally “restrain your grief and accept what has happened”)
Ways to say condolences
节哀顺变
Formalmy condolences
To the family at a funeral or a wake, and in a message or a card. You can say it to anyone.
请节哀
Formalplease don’t grieve too much
Short and polite, in person. You also hear just 节哀.
我很难过
EverydayI’m so sad (to hear this)
Simple and sincere, to a friend or a colleague. Often as 听到这个消息，我很难过, “I’m so sad to hear the news.”
你要保重身体
Everydaylook after yourself
Very common after 节哀顺变. People worry that grief makes the family ill, so they say it to everyone close to the person who died.
有什么需要帮忙的就跟我说
With friendsif there’s anything I can do, tell me
To a friend or a colleague, in person or in a message. Say it only if you mean it.
Words for the person who died
These are not said to the family. They are about the person who died: said at the funeral or written in posts, notices and on wreaths.
一路走好
farewell (literally “walk well on your way”)
At the funeral and in posts after someone dies, often a public figure.
愿逝者安息
may the deceased rest in peace
Written: in news comments, posts and messages after a death.
沉痛悼念
in deep mourning for
On funeral banners, wreaths and notices, before the person’s name.
Saying that someone died
去世了
passed away
The polite word. 他爷爷去世了, “his grandfather passed away.”
走了
is gone (literally “left”)
Gentle and spoken, among family and friends. The context makes the meaning clear.
Common mistakes
Saying 对不起
In English you say “I’m sorry for your loss.” In Chinese, 对不起 is an apology for something you did, so it sounds strange here. Say 请节哀 or 我很难过.
Saying 安息 to the family
安息, “rest in peace,” is for the person who died, and it is mostly written: 愿逝者安息. To the family, say 节哀顺变.
Saying 死了 about their relative
死 is the plain word for “die.” About someone’s family member, it sounds blunt. Say 去世了 or 走了.
A colleague’s loss
我听说你爷爷的事了。请节哀。
Leon: I heard about your grandfather. I’m so sorry.
谢谢。他走得很突然。
Colleague: Thank you. It was very sudden.
你要保重身体。有什么需要帮忙的就跟我说。
Leon: Look after yourself. If there’s anything I can do, tell me.
好，谢谢你。
Colleague: OK. Thank you.
